It's weirdly coincidental that I wrote about cockroaches in my last post. Friday in class, we discussed a French idiom: avoir les cafards (to have cockroaches) is an equivalent to what we call pet peeves. Some of mes cafards du Sénégal: the actual cafards are exasperating, of course, but I could go on about the little things that bother me about Sénégal, the hard things about being a foreigner surrounded by a culture and language I don't fully understand.
I hate that people talk down to me because of my language (in)ability, and I hate that I usually can't understand them when they speak to me as a peer, anyway. I hate the societal limbo I am placed in as an American woman; in the complex gender hierarchies here, I am suspended above Senegalese women and below the men. I'm dangling between gender roles, and another downside of being an American woman is the difficulty of making Senegalese friends. The women here are almost universally icy towards American woman, and the men are often over-friendly and, in my experience, ALWAYS with alterior motives-- not just Visa, but the general idea here that all American women are sexual, easy, and willing.
My awkward societal positioning lends itself to my general sentiment that I am out of place here, that everyday calls for focused navigating: navigating the trash, broken bottles, and sand that litters even the most wealthy streets; navigating the dynamics of the Leye family, navigating the many aspects of life I simply do not comprehend. How can my family, for example, have upwards of 150 TV channels, but not a working toilet?
Between the fatigue of constant navigation, the discomfort, and the uncertainty, though, I am grateful to be here. It's emotionally taxing but I'm gaining a lot (perspective, sensitivity, thicker skin... body weight). To be a constant outsider is hard but weirdly liberating. And a part of me loves the adventure of it all. It's the excitement of waking up each morning not knowing my footing, knowing that I will trip and fall several times throughout the day, but going to sleep having made at least one steady step in the right direction.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
A Chronicle of Culture Shock
Being immersed in a foreign culture, especially one as different as Senegalese culture, can be disorienting. It can certainly make one aware of one's place (or lack of thereof) in a complex society one doesn't fully understand. But isn't that true at "home" as well - where life is an ever evolving balance between one's individuality, relationships with family and others and roles within the larger society?
ReplyDeleteHey, Clare. I've been enjoying your blogs - although there is another clare in senegal blog out there if you google it.
ReplyDeleteLinda